Invest in Your Relationships and Gain Emotional Connections
Every relationship has its own emotional bank account. Our actions and the way we communicate with those we care about, work with and live with can either deposit or withdraw from the account. Deposits result in stronger relationships and withdrawals can result in strained relationships. How can you invest in your personal and professional relationships to increase cohesion, trust and satisfaction?
1. Identify investment opportunities
Relationships are important to our health, well-being, and resilience. One way to strengthen your relationships is by capitalizing on the good times. When someone shares good news with you this is an opportunity to make a deposit by giving them your attention. Opportunities can be big and small. Someone can share big news like being picked up for a promotion, enrolling in college or getting married. Other opportunities could be someone sharing that they had a good day at work, enjoyed the nice weather or got enough sleep the night before.
2. Take inventory of your assets
Reflect on the relationships that matter the most to you. Think about your significant other, Family members, friends, coworkers and battle buddies. What is your relationship’s emotional balance? A balance of zero or even a negative balance could mean the relationship is in trouble.
3. Invest with a purpose: Active Constructive Responding
Active Constructive Responding is a way of responding to others when they share good news with us. When a person shares their positive experience with you, show up for them. Lean into the conversation, be present and maintain the focus on them (even if the conversation only lasts two minutes). Struggling to be present? Try asking for more detail, asking questions about the good news, or using non-verbal cues to show your interest (eye contact, nodding). These strategies signal to the other person to elaborate on their positive experience.
Research shows that showing up for someone in the good times is just as important as being there for them in the bad times. This investment strategy can facilitate joy, gratitude, and other positive emotions. It can also enhance the closeness in your relationships.
Responding in a manner that builds upon someone’s good news can:
- demonstrate you understand them and what is important to that person,
- contribute to having positive beliefs about the relationship,
- enhance feelings of acceptance and respect,
- show that you are putting in effort; and
- provide an opportunity for the relationship to grow by learning more about the other person.
4. Watch out for common mistakes
It’s common to respond in ways that damage the relationship and withdraw from the account. For example, do you ‘check the block’ when someone shares a positive experience with you by saying “that’s cool,” or “nice!” Do you accidentally hijack the conversation from their good news to your own thoughts or experiences with the topic and find that the conversation has now become focused on you? Or, do you identify issues or concerns with the good news being shared, which even though you may be trying to help, takes the joy out of the moment? Falling into these common mistakes can chip away from your relationship over time.
5. Start investing today
Research shows that showing up for someone in the good times is just as important as being there for them in the bad times. This investment strategy can facilitate joy, gratitude, and other positive emotions. It can also enhance the closeness in your relationships.